I don’t know how to write about Eric Garner and Michael Brown and Tamir Rice. Perhaps I don’t have any business trying to, as a white outsider. Instead, I’m trying to read and listen to as much as I can on the subject, and to use the opportunity to expand my exposure to black-run, independent media. I’m definitely guilty of relying on the Times and the New Yorker and the Guardian for much of my information, and I know that it’s not sufficient.

But I do want to record my despair and frustration and deep sadness at these events, and to acknowledge that Australia also has a history of racist policing. In both places, in some way that’s hard to quantify or own up to, I even benefit from it. Police attention is dangerous but finite, and it is never, ever directed at me.